Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Don't Leave Me Mom...



You'd think they were going to the dentist. As happy, and playful as Sophie and Sage are, they still have deep fears of being left, especially when they're in a large group. I'm not surprised, with all they've been through, but we're trying to help them trust others and us, and let them know that we aren't leaving them for good, we'll be back soon. It breaks my heart to see their sad eyes and hear their traumatic cries when we leave them. Sage is struggling the most with being apart from us. Sophie would be fine and even says "good bye", but when she see's how upset Sage is, she gets scared and cries too. They do warm up after awhile (10-20 minutes, used to be 30). As upset as they get, they still participate and follow directions through their tears. They will be starting a great pre-school in the fall. I know it will be good for them, I'm just trying to help prepare them for being away from mom for awhile. Any suggestions?
My heart goes out to them and I can't complain- we're thrilled at how well they've bonded to our family. But I know how important it is for them to overcome this fear.
Also, the teachers and friends we have left them with have been wonderful!! Thanks Lindsay, Stacey, Janet, Kim, & Laura! Sophie and Sage adore them, they just want mom or dad there too. And the children have been so sweet, they share their treats and try to cheer them up. Notice the picture on the bottom left. The little girl holding Sage's hand at Little Gym. These girls are definately loved, not only by us.

3 comments:

Rony said...

Dianne, it just melts my heart when I hear you say they are fearful of being left alone. My Abbey had a total melt down this morning when I left. Not a normal occurence for her. I spoke to my husband an hour late -- he works from home and he said he came upstairs and she was still thrashing around on the floor. He put her to bed.

As far as a solution, I think a lot of it is time......Unfortunately...... Your girls are absouletly adorable...

Rony

Dirk said...

It seems we are just extremely lucky in this regard. Our girls bonded with us within three days and never looked back. And leaving them (for example at daycare) is the easiest thing in the world. They hardly look over their shoulders when we say 'bye-bye'... it's almost embarrassing how little concerned they are about the separation. And that hasn't changed since they started day care (about two months after we came home, they had just turned one).

In the interest of full disclosure, there's one exception to this: if one of them is sick or otherwise not feeling left, they do cling and cry when dropped off.

Jeralynn said...

Dianne, I thought Heather, mom to Sydney (Our Journey with Sydney) had a wonderful idea. At first, she and Sydney visited daycare together. After awhile, Sydney stayed for 30 minutes alone before Mom came back, then an hour, then gradually longer. By the time it Heather returned to work and Sydney actually had to stay at daycare, she knew the teachers and children there and she knew, from experience, that her Mom always came back for her.