Last week Sophie asked me the loaded question-
“Mom, was I in the ladies tummy that took care of me in China?" It caught me a little of guard, am I ready for this? Is she?
Up until now, she just thought she was from China, like she and Sage just came from the orphanage, waiting for their family (us) to come and get them, but not really knowing how they got there. We celebrate Birth Mother's Day (the day before Mother's Day) and read our favorite children's adoption books, but they never asked about their birth mother. She knows her brothers were in my tummy and tonight she was curious whose tummy she was in. I carefully explained that she has a lovely birth mother and she was in her tummy in China. Then she went to the orphanage and waited to come home, but she wasn’t in her nice caretakers tummy who cared for her in the orphanage. She wasn’t upset at this news, but clearly bothered. She actually giggled nervously and said “ewww”, and didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I respect her feelings. They are a little afraid of Asian women, thinking they will take them back. It's getting better now that they're getting older, but the first few years they were so fearful. It's nice to see them trust and turning to us with questions.
I have to admit, I’m a little nervous about her next question- “Why did my birth mom give me away?” Who knows when this will come up. We have always been open with their background, keeping it positive and age appropriate. It’s complicated with the one child law, especially with twin daughters. Someday she and Sage will put it all together, but for now they are just happy to be home with their family, even if they weren’t in my tummy, they've been in my heart since the day I first saw their picture, and we and they are so happy they’re here!
Sophie- left, Sage- right