Sunday, March 21, 2010

Conversation with my daughter {Sunday snapshot}


Last week Sophie asked me the loaded question-

“Mom, was I in the ladies tummy that took care of me in China?" It caught me a little of guard, am I ready for this? Is she?

Up until now, she just thought she was from China, like she and Sage just came from the orphanage, waiting for their family (us) to come and get them, but not really knowing how they got there. We celebrate Birth Mother's Day (the day before Mother's Day) and read our favorite children's adoption books, but they never asked about their birth mother. She knows her brothers were in my tummy and tonight she was curious whose tummy she was in. I carefully explained that she has a lovely birth mother and she was in her tummy in China. Then she went to the orphanage and waited to come home, but she wasn’t in her nice caretakers tummy who cared for her in the orphanage. She wasn’t upset at this news, but clearly bothered. She actually giggled nervously and said “ewww”, and didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I respect her feelings. They are a little afraid of Asian women, thinking they will take them back. It's getting better now that they're getting older, but the first few years they were so fearful. It's nice to see them trust and turning to us with questions.

I have to admit, I’m a little nervous about her next question- “Why did my birth mom give me away?” Who knows when this will come up. We have always been open with their background, keeping it positive and age appropriate. It’s complicated with the one child law, especially with twin daughters. Someday she and Sage will put it all together, but for now they are just happy to be home with their family, even if they weren’t in my tummy, they've been in my heart since the day I first saw their picture, and we and they are so happy they’re here!


Sophie- left, Sage- right

Ni Hao Y'all


Monica said...

Interesting question. Our little one has been starting to put it together, too. Your family is lovely!

Colleen said...

My 5 year old ask me questions from time to time. I just try to take it question at a's hard sometimes to answer the have a beautiful family.

Stefanie said...

I had a very similar scenario recently with my Sophie... it was so tough to tell her she wasn't in my tummy, or her beloved caregiver's either. I know it's only going to get harder from here, and with so little 'truth' to share, all we can do is love them and pray for His love to fill in the gaps!
What a blessing they have each other :)
Thanks for sharing your beautiful girls with us!

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Chelle said...

They feel the love now and that's probably all that really matters! I so enjoy your blog. You are a fanatic picture taker just like me and I love it! I'm impressed you keep up with your blog with new career, busy mom and all! You're amazing!!!

Anonymous said...

Craziness! I think you handled that well, I'm sure it would make you a bit nervous!

They are looking so grown up and pretty!